Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Quotes from movies I use all the time

I watch a lot of movies. I probably watch too many movies. I’ve reached a point where I have trouble falling asleep unless I’ve watched something.
With all that film-watching comes a lot of quoting, many of which can be embarrassing when you quote something like The Graduate around kids who are still stuck on shouting “I am McLovin!”
So, in no particular order, I thought it might be cool to list some of the most-quoted lines I say in my everyday life (beware: lots of teen comedies).

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Is there any better movie so far this decade to quote from? Nearly every teenager has seen it, as well as some of the more suave adults, and nearly every line is quotable. There’s even an entire alternate movie from all the leftover footage. Some personal favorite lines I have actually quoted:
“I’m in a glass case of emotion!”
“I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the baby maker.”
“I love lamp.”
“60% of the time it works, every time.”
“Great Odin's raven!”
“By the beard of Zeus!” (that one might be an outtake)
“It’s jazz baby!”
“You are a smelly pirate hooker.”
“Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
“Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.”

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
Sometimes (not often) an opportunity will present itself and I can let loose with the classic Coen brother line: “you know, for kids!”

Forrest Gump (1994)
Everyone in the USA quotes Forrest Gump, even if they’ve never seen the film. “My momma always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.’" is classic, but I prefer to shout “JENNY!” in that southern accent. To bad it makes me look like an idiot.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
This film introduced me to The State, Stella, Wainy Days, and that entire group of actors/comedians. For that I am eternally grateful. What better way to show my appreciation than to quote David Hyde Pierce whenever something doesn’t go my way by shouting (or, more often, whispering to myself) “Fuck my dick!”

No Country for Old Men (2007)
The Coen brothers have been making great American films since Blood Simple in 1984. Out of all the great dialog in No Country the one line I find myself quoting while chuckling to myself is “Friend-o.”

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
I love all of the Best Picture nominees from 1994, and this one was the biggest surprise. While I wish I could remember the more charming dialog on the spot at a party or social occasion, I usually just mumble “Fuck-a-doodle-do.”

Help! (1965)
The Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night is one of, if not the best, rock films ever. While Help! Isn’t great in the classic, timeless way their first film is, it knows it’s a silly musical adventure and doesn’t try to be anything more. My siblings and I laugh with each other to lines such as:
“Never you mind!”
“I am a dead-eye shot, shooting.”
“How do you know you're not just as filthy and sent by him to nick the ring by being filthy when you have lulled us with your filthy eastern ways?”
“There's more here than meets the eye!” (followed by much “Huh ho“-ing)

Star Wars
I love the Star Wars saga (it’s so great calling it a mere “series” cheapens it). The classic quotes never get old (“I am your father!” “May the Force be with you” “I have a bad feeling about this”) but I find myself quoting Han Solo more than ever, not because I think he gets the best lines necessarily, but, like most of these other quotes, they’re the ones I remember on the spot:
“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.”
“I know.” (to be said after someone tells you they love you)
“Laugh it up, fuzz ball.”

American Pie (1999)
I don’t care if it's a stupid teen sex comedy. Everyone quotes Alyson Hannigan’s line “This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.” although they usually just leave it as “This one time, at band camp…”

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
“You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy.”
Office Space (1999)
I never, ever, have a chance to use this, but I love to say it:
"You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the jews wear."

Pulp Fiction (1994)
Yet another 1994 film with loads of great dialog, but I love, Love, LOVE the line “Anytime of day is a good time for pie” which first popped up in Tarantino’s script for True Romance.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Everyone, including me, loves to quote Sellers’ line “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.” but I usually awkwardly mutter something about fluoridation, our precious bodily fluids, and my essence in conversation as well.

Clerks (1994)/Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Double whammy! This little line: “Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love” was paraphrased in Clerks as “No time for love Dr. Jones” so whenever I say it I say it in Randal’s voice but think of Short Round (don’t listen to anyone else; Short Round is the best part of that film).

Juno (2007)
“Hey, yeah, uh, I'm just calling to procure a hasty abortion.”

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Is it bad that I melodramatically yell “Run you fools!” every now and then?

Rushmore (1998)
Most of the great lines in Rushmore get lost in my consciousness only to resurface as something I vaguely remember but can’t quite place. I’ll occasionally say “With friends like you, who needs friends?” but the quote I remember the most I can almost never use:
Max Fischer: “I like your nurse's uniform, guy.”
Dr. Peter Flynn: “These are O.R. scrubs.”
Max Fischer: “Oh, are they?”
(If my Film Study teacher from Junior year reads that she might get a kick out of it. I know she loves that bit.)

The Graduate (1968)
Yeah, that’s right, I quote The Graduate. From time to time. Rarely. I have the lines there, it’s just that no one EVER gets that you quoting The Graduate unless you say “Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me.” Two of the lines that tend to pop up in my vernacular are “Plastics” and “Wood or wire? They have both.”

Superbad (2007)
Okay, I do quote Superbad a lot, more than The Graduate I’ll admit. Like Anchorman, there are just soo many great lines. Although I think the whole “I am McLovin!” thing is a lame quote kids say because they think everyone else finds it funny.
“Fuck me, right?”
“That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.”
“We shouldn't be cock-blocking McLovin, we should be guiding his cock.”
“I'm sorry that I blocked your cock…”
“The funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.”
“She wants my dick in and around her mouth!”
“You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.”
“Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!”
“You hit Becca's foot with your dick?”
“Oh no, that IS pimp!”
I know there are other lines and words I quote from Finding Nemo, Grosse Pointe Blank, The Blues Brothers, Zoolander, Old School, Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, Taxi Driver, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, Elf, Top Gun, and others, but if I searched around for every single quote I occasionally drop in conversation or say to myself this would be a much longer, even more boring list.
What are some of you favorite movie quotes?

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